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Marriage is a beautiful thing but let’s be honest a lot of people when they first hear the word are scared out of their minds. Thinking back to when we were having our second child Steve’s mother was not shy about asking the question when were we going to make it official.

While that is not a bad thing especially when you are already starting a family, young minds are impressionable and outside sources play a major part in why the youth get scared out of their minds at the idea of marriage.



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Nothing says buzz kill when you tell your group of guy friends that you are bringing your wife to the party. At least this what most people perceive is that you will have to stop hanging with your friends to always be around your spouse or bring them with.

You feel like you can’t be the life of the party or be your authentic self when your girl is around. I recall watching Obsessed starring Idris Elba and Beyoncé with my husband and in one part of the movie, they were having an office party. The idea of having an amazing office party was not to invite your significant other. Why you ask? It’s because no one can let loose when their partner is watching. You might take one less drink, make one less connection, or miss out on that once in a lifetime opportunity with that bomb ass assistant.

I’m a firm believer that you can have both. It’s actually very healthy to maintain your self-identity in marriage and hang out with your friends without your mate. It is also pretty cool knowing that you can have your “real” BFF there to back you up if some shit goes down. I’m all for being a ride or die. Fortunately for us, people see us as a packaged deal a lot of the times so we get to hang out together with a group of guy or girlfriends. What can we say we’re pretty cool!


Sounds worse when you say it over and over. Having more than one woman at a time has been viewed as a social status amongst black men. With the introduction of social media, it has only gotten worse. We’re all bombarded with images of false realities of yacht parties, a sea of Instagram baddies, and the folklore of tons of interesting people.

Only makes it easier to get closer to the girl of your dreams since she is only one DM away and the give and take relationship realm has reached enormous heights. I guess no one told them the headache that comes with the upkeep and lies isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be. Having the thrill or feeling of being wanted can still come with being with one person. In actuality, once you and your spouse are connected you will experience things you never thought you would TOGETHER!


Most people like to call it the fear of commitment but it boils down to the role that men are afraid of. You become a leader, protector, a provider, and in most cases a father. The pressure that can come along with feeling like you have to take care of everything can scare off anyone but then it depends on you, you choose to be your life partner. When a man follows GOD he is provided guidance that he can give to his wife and to their children. A wife is your helpmeet and when you both work together it lessens the burden on everyone if you make strong decisions together.

In the beginning, we both had our perceptions of what marriage was because of the failed marriages we’ve seen and what we heard. We’ve been successful in our marriage because we are able to maintain who we once were and discuss who we aimed to be together. Once you decide for yourself you can live the life you want with a person you love by your own rules you can make it last forever..(no Keith Sweat).

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